Blastian Paul Vlogs

Editor's note: This is a parody of Logan Paul and other vlog channels, with more battle bay.


YOOOOOO WHAT IS UP GUYS! BLASTIAN PAUL HERE, BACK AT IT ON THAT BAYTUBE GRIND WITH ANOTHER BANGER OF A VIDEO DROPPING!
Check out my merch link down below, help me out and drain your gold reserves by buying my official merch line, TackyBomb, instead of upgrading your ship! I mean, who needs a ship when you can have a tailpipe with my face on it? I'm also rolling out my official Blastian Pauler weapon line, featuring mines shaped like my head, a shield shaped like a shirt from my merch, a repair box shaped like my head, and a cannon shaped like my CENSORED. Anyways, getting into the VLOG!
(don't forget to like, subscribe, turn on notifications, and donate, it really helps me keep sugar on the table and bullets in the Gatling. Did I mention you can buy my merch?)
Last video, I dropped two million pearls on a hot pink interceptor with a built in overboost, and today we'll be nitroing around town in this thing crashing into people, trespassing, getting in the way, and generally being a douche to everyone we meet! Blastian Paulers, Roll Out!
So I'm back... I rammed a speeder into a rock during their driver's test, took potshots at my neighbor's flower beds, cut through a military training ground on my may to Guns'R'Us to buy torpedoes, collided with a police ship coming round the corner, and I'm in real hot water. And not just because I somehow ended up in Crash'N'Burn. I think I had too much gear lube in my oatmeal. Anyways, donate to the channel and buy my merch to help me pay my bail fee, it will help me keep producing wholesome, quality content for my young, impressionable audience. I would just run, because, you know, SwiftGang SwiftGang SwiftGang, but the fuzz have me frostier than a snowman in a snowdrift in a block of ice. They're bringing in a fixer to tow my ship to the impound lot... see you in my post-hearing vlog. If you want a cannon shaped like my CENSORED, it's not too late, and it would help me pay bail! Blastian Paul out.

 

Convince Logan- I mean Blastian Paul that bad matchmaking is a like button.

He'll smash it.

 

You should combine all your funny threads like Crew Journals, foundary meatpacking and this into a library like Redneck Reviews.

 

I'll get around to that... after I farm this event for more Interceptor parts and True Speedforcer games.