Alternative Item Names

I just searched General and it turns out, I'm the only person who has ever called the Big Torpedo the "Bigpedo". By extension, I'm also the only person to ever say "Tripedo", and no one has uttered the term "Swiftpedo" even once. This is utter madness. This community is failing in the coolness department, the intelligence department, the humor department, the imagination department, the torpedo department... just... everything. You guys are failing at everything.

I've taken the liberty to come up with a slightly shorter version of every item in the game. Faster than the full name for the most part, but less lame and confusing than acronyms. What's not to love? Just read on, and you will see my genius! (from left to right in order of their appearance in the shop):
- "Cane"
- "Blacken"
- "Snappen"
- "Expy" (alidocious)
- "Carrots"
- "Greens"
- "Stortar"
- "Loiter"
- "Parker"
- "BERTA"
- ":0"
- ""
- ">:3"
- "Rain"
- "Silo"
- "Mini"
- "Flay"
- "FIYAH"
- "Blaze"

- "Steel"
- "Bigpeel"
- "GO"
- "Goob"
- "Fins"
- "Adhesive Medical Strips"

- "GOMORE"
- "Flash"
- "Asterisks"
- "Tilde"
- "Raster"
- "Frosty"

- "Rox"
- "Airblast"
- "The Duke"
- "Pair Bolt"

Now, I'm sure, with the exception of "BERTA", you could use any one of these new names and everyone would instantly know what you were talking about. Except now you will now have the added bonus of sounding hip, cool, and ahead of the game. Just try it!
And please don't take down the post for the obvious jokes I'm making about the torpedoes...

 

horray for adhesive metal strips!

 

Huh?

What?

Explosive cannon!

wah?

no clue...

Standard mortar

LRM

ballpark

Good one!

?

Torp?

Tri torp???

? Missile launcher ? (I'm not using the store)

No clue

No clue!

Napalm

Standard...

Big sh...

Turbo

Turret'A'Goo

Rudder

LOL bandage!

OB?

Nitro?

What?

???

Frost blaster

Frost blaster

Box and bolt where the only ones I could find...

I would have put "" for big torp...
Anyway, cool.

 

Lol, just use the store next time. Nice guesses though, you were correct on most of them! You said Frost Blaster twice?

 

lol, the second frost blast was supposed to be frost launcher

 

LMAO!!! Even I have no idea of most names he said!

 

That's half the joke!
The other half? Use the store lol. I might post another set of names, but this time without them having to be short.

 

That's was a really great way to take it! Most people get pissed off! Cheers mate!

 

Going in ordet from 1st to last

Pea shooter

Mega pea shooter

Long range pea shooter

Exploding pea shooter

Sneeze cannon

Scarecrow face

Deletethisrovio mortar

Camping mortar

Fat mortar

Bertahasnoh mortar

If you get frosted I'm next torpedo

Nitropedo

2 of these are useless torpedoes

That shit missed me and still damaged me gun

Darts

Speeder 1 shotter

Earphones

Fucklogic

20seconds on fire no matter what

Badge

Fat badge

All boats are speeders

Do not eat this shit

Donuts for days

I don't trust fixers

Vroooom

VROOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM

Paralizer

Common

Superglue

Superglue mortar

Lunch box

Dice

Sewah

Vaccine

 

Napalm is real...

 

Here are a few weapons from a fixers perspective;
Firebomb = Damage pulse
Mine = Un-repair sphere launcher
Tesla Bolt = Stops-Repair Bolt
Flare Gun = Burning Duct-tape

 

CURRENT SLANG:
sniper,
BC
torp
tritorp
bigtorp
swift torp
RG
TB
OB
box
pulse
bolt

 

^Only listed half the items, because apparently the other half aren't mentioned enough or aren't important enough to have shortened versions (or already have short names). "What's your build?" "SC, SC, BT, BB, Explosive Cannon" "I see..."

Here's my alternate list of names for the items in the game, using as many characters as I want:
- The Undercompensator
- Boomstick
- Cheapshot Cannon
- 100% Crit Chance Against Enforcers (otherwise AoE)
- B-buh... but I'm the boomstick... QQ
- Chibimortar: Friendly smile on the outside, burning fires of hell on the inside!
- The Original
- The Straight Upgrade From The Original
- NEVER MISS, ALWAYS WIN
- Never hit, always descend into a spiraling depression, the likes of which will eventually lead to a terrible death only delayed by pills and- oh wow, it did over 2000 damage. o_o
- I'm getting the rope if this one doesn't hit something. Everyone hates me, I'm so tired, I wasted my life maxing this piece of... it just insta'd the entire enemy team. LIFE IS GOOD AGAIN!!!
- Maybe I should just I get a Big Torpedo and stop being such a wuss...
- I <3 Walls
- Make Sniping Difficult, But Look Cool
- Chooses a Random Amount of Damage Between 0 and 3,000,000
- **** * ** * ** * ******** * ** * ** ******* ******** *** ******* **** ** **** **** **** **** **** ****** ******** ** * ** * (Signed, Speeder)
- Get Ready to Feel My Boomstick!
- I Hate Water
- Get Ready to Feel All of Our Boomsticks!

- Protection
- REAL Protection
- Now You Can't Pass Drug Tests
- Can I Use It On Anything Else?
- Why won't anyone love me? QQ
- Stick With Me, And All Your Holes Will Be Covered

- Okay, Maybe You Should Cool It, Man...
- I j-j-just need one m-more h-h-hit man... j-just one more...
- *** * ****** * ** ** **** * ** ** * ** * ***** **** *** ** **** *** ***** ***** **** ***** **** *** *** ** ** * ** ** ******** **** ********* SECONDS?! ************ *** * ** ** *** ** ******* * ********* ** * ** * ******* * ********* * * * *** * *** * * ** ** * ** ** ********** ** **** ** ** ********** ****** ***** ***** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ******* ************ ************ *** *** * ** * * ** ** **** * ** * *** *** *** *** ** ** ** ******** *** ** **** ******* ******* * * ** * ** * ** *** * * * **** * ** * * ** * * ****** ** YOU **** ****** ***** *** ** *** ** ** ** *** **** ***** *** **** *** ** *** ** ******** * ****** ** ** *** * ** ******* ** ** **** ** *** ** *** *** * (Signed, Shooter and Defender)
- HAH HAH HAH, no one can kill me now! Not without most of the weapons in the game!
- Mr. Blastman... bring me a dream... make it the meanest, that he's ever seen...
- Serious Optimism

- Casual Optimism
- When You Simply Can't Trust Your Team to Get It Done
- Automatic Grandstander
- When You Simply Can't Trust THAT GUY to Get It Done

Stay classy

 

Now i see others perspective when i build my gas jet turbine, working out if my compressor will work efficiently & create the shockwave as the air gets thrown back in the opposite direction, enough for it to help ignite the gas in the combustion chamber creating a vortex of mixed fuel exploding out back where it will be forced out by the turbine as it spins the centre shaft turning the centrifugal compressor & becomes self sustained & when they tell me i have too much time on my hands !

 

uh...

 

I'm referring to this thread with different names that was made up, even if the weapons already have names & me saying that i understand when people say " you have too much time on your hands" & giving my equivalent in thermodynamics.