Nerf Everything!

[The following is a parody of all of the nerf crying and whining in the forums, please do not take it seriously]
Nerf Red Itms! Thy Cn Destori my Ship! Also nerf bluees! They Make Defender OOPPP!!1!11!1! Nef Geens too, i cat us them!!1!1!1!!1 ALSO nerf maordars 2 ! U can’t dodge them without moving 2wrds the enemy!!!!!

 

Wait what.... nerf Bluee(s).
How Dare You Say Such Sorcery!!

 

How about buff everything.

 

*Engaging sarcasm*
Buff defender, not enough hp
Buff shooter, not enough weapon slots
Buff speeder, not fast enough
Buff fixer, repair pulse does 200% to all fixers
Buff enforcers, need another yellow slot
Buff mortars, make them all have the reload of standard, radius of Ballpark, speed of LRM, and dmg of berta
Buff RG, Make it go through the map
Buff cannons, +20% crit
Buff Carro, +6 projectiles
Buff torps, make them homing.
Buff gearlube, rudder, and turbo, combine them all
Buff standard shield, make it half a slot
Buff Big Shield, make it have 15 automatic defense points
Buff commons and uncommons, make them easier to level up
Buff rares, add another perk exclusively for them that halves cooldown
Buff epics and legies, make them only take 5 pieces

 

Buff perks, make them 1 gold
Buff auto-aim, I don't want to lead
Buff nitro, make it teleport you to wherever you want to go
Buff OB 300% speed, infanent duration
Buff tesla shield, unbreakable
Buff tesla bolt, infanent speed
Buff frost, slows to 0%
Buff repair box, 300% repair to ships with half health
Buff bolt, 200% speed
Buff tape, immune to stun
Buff the shop, one free purchase per refresh
Buff powercells, sellable for 500,000 gold for a legy
Buff pearls, 1 pearl can buy anything
Buff sugar, free training
Buff gold, useable for upgrading
Buff mk1, 1200 health
Buff mk2, +.8 speed
Buff mk3, +3% agility
Buff mk4, +3% turret rotation
Buff mk5, +10 defense points
Buff mk6, +blue slot
Buff mk7, +1 slot of any color

 

Let's Buff The Fixer To OPPPPPPPPPPP 10000000% Healing 1000000% To Hp 10000000% To Every Thing on the Fixer and Only Fixer Just Fixer

 

NoOoOoO
No BUFFFFFFS1!1!1
Ony nerrrrrfs!!!1!!!!

 

Nope Buffs on Fixer

 

You guys are stupid, you forgot some stuff:

Give sniper 100% crit chance and 999% crit dmg.

All shooters should get free t5 leggies.

Speeder needs .001 speed and 1 hp, only 1 red slot and nothing else.

And shooter need a 1,000,000,000 hp buff, infinite defence, and 10 speed

 

Don't be ridiculous. They should have a flat 100% crit rate, anything above 100% results in a chance to double crit.

Both unnecessary. Just combine them and make nitro boost 10x stronger and last as long as OB and instakill anyone you pass through.

Lol 1 hp is fine if you have infinite defense. But you forgot to make them impervious to fire damage!

 

loved this thread

Great ideas, these things deserve a poll!

 

Buff defence! Make it deflect shots back!

 

Nerf Buffs, make them less OP1!1!1!1!111

 

Buffs for a fixer clearly aren't going far enough!

- 5 Greens slots with 10 slot points.
- Infinite Healing Pulse range.
- Healing Pulse removes all debuffs, adds 500 defense to friendlies and gives the Instagib Buff - All weapons are also replaced by Jingle Bells.

 

\|3RpH $|\|1P3R

 

just let it be like this for now , no need to buff and nerf , haha .

 

Nerf shooter! Make it water soluble!

 

Nerf work

 

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